I was talking the other day with some goons about where we would live if we could live anywhere, but the catch was it had to be from a movie or TV show. It turned out to be a pretty hilarious conversation, mainly because of the justifications some people were coming up with for their choices. “I’d live in the Animal House so I could black out with John Belushi every day of the year,” and “I’d live in the Swamp to get as far away from you assholes as possible.” That one was a little extreme, but he was bitter because his last choice of the White House got shit on.
The best part about the whole useless conversation was how each response was such a genuine product of that persons being. Its funny to see a person’s true character, ideals and passions come alive in such a casual atmosphere. I love that shit.
Anyway, I had two choices for each stage of my life thus far.
1) Hey Arnold’s Room for my childhood and teenage years.
Safe to say Hey Arnold had the most bad ass room any kid could ever dream of, and arguably one of the best living situations ever. He stayed chillen in that room. Fish in the water bubbler, couch that pops out of the wall, trippy ass rug, some vegetation for the ladies and he was constantly bumping cool jams.
As if this penthouse loft wasn’t enough, he had a glass ceiling and roof access! Do you know how much this room would rent for in NYC these days? A ton. A Wheelhouse. Had Hey Arnold chose to be a little more aggressive with the ladies of PS118, he could have done pretty well for himself. Regardless, irregardless, this room is bad ass and I’d chose to live here until I got old enough to move into my second choice…
2) The Loft from Big Daddy
I think we can all agree this is the sickest possible bachelor pad for any man’s 20s and 30s, no? Any place that has a bridge leading into my “upstairs” bedroom has my vote. Not to mention the massive, green, lateral sliding door for a front entrance. Billboard decorated penthouse deck looking over the city too? Come on!
Sunny did it all right with his approach to cleanliness and its all in the mindset. This is a bachelor pad loft. You spill milk or throw up on the floor? Whatever, throw some newspapers over it. A massive rat pops up out of the gutter pipe outside? So what, its his city too. This place is the ideal spot to kick it without any worries. Think of the parties you could throw!
I’d post up here until about 32 and realized it was time to clean my act up. Then I’d pack up my shit and move to option three for the Boss Years.
3) Penthouse from Jumper
As you can imagine, typing any variation of “Jumper Apartment” into Google brings up a variety of suicide images. But you can kind of get a glimpse of the apartment from the trailer. If you haven’t seen the movie, the lead actor lives in an unreal penthouse apartment/loft in New York City. He has an elevator that opens up directly into his apartment, which is pretty much my primary goal in life: have an elevator for a front door. As far as I am concerned, that is when you know you’ve made it. This pad has a modern design with Ron Bergundy inspired mahogany wood finish, a nice deck and a ton of other sick features. Now that I think of it, this apartment is a more mature and fancy replica of the Big Daddy Apartment.
So that is that. If I ever end up living in any of these places, you can all come party.